‘Feelings around non-acquiring” by Karen Arthur

One of my clients has so eloquently put into words, her feelings around the decluttering process and what it has meant to her. She shares her story here…

“During the last few years of grief and depression, I was seeking comfort in buying things. The

next new thing would make me feel better, make me look better, cheer me up, be the answer to

any number of troubling thoughts and feelings. Even bringing someone to the door to say hello

to would improve my life momentarily and give me something to look forward to. My very low

income would inevitably mean that most of these things would be cheap or second hand, thus

not really fixing anything at all. The realisation that I had made another error paralysed me into

just keeping the stuff and leaving it lying around everywhere instead of getting rid of it.

My melancholic state meant that the packaging would be discarded instead of being recycled or

thrown away, adding to the piles and piles of stuff cluttering up every surface in my home.

Occasionally I would manage to make inroads into recycling the cardboard, but the mess was

so all pervasive that it was pretty much impossible to see any difference, so the pleasure gained

was very limited.

Having Lizzie’s help has been transformational in so many ways. Her amazing ‘taking it all

away’ process means that I have been getting my excitement and satisfaction from watching the

stuff leave my house, not from seeing it arrive. This excitement is a hundred times more thrilling

than buying stuff ever was! Who knew!

Now I have unsubscribed from all the emails that used to try to make me buy things, there is no

need to have to resist things, itself an extra strain on my willpower. It’s so relaxing! Adverts pop

up online and I can proudly declare “That’s something else I haven’t bought!”, such a good

feeling!

When I sorted out the kitchen at the weekend, I chose to throw away quite a few items that had

become knackered through neglect; two wooden chopping boards, a glass worktop saver and

lots of plastic containers amongst other things. I did some very specific and purposeful re

acquiring and treated myself to a wonderful new chopping board, a fabulous vintage style

worktop saver (doubling up as a very useful conversion chart) and a great retro style tin for my

medication to live in. It felt so good and not at all wasteful, like having four of each item would

have been. A fitting reward for all my hard work. There was no shame attached, and every

single bit of packaging was immediately recycled. I think that this must be what normal people

do.

I can also now look at something that I might previously have bought, and ask myself if I already

have something just like it (the answer is usually yes, that’s why I like the thing) and decide that

it’s not needed. That is really liberating.

So many lessons are being learned, and it feels like they will stick with me for the rest of my life.

There is so much joy to be had from living like this 💖.” Karen Arthur